Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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KIBBS: Trouble and problem

Title                              : Trouble and Problem

Rating                           : PG 13 / K+/ Humor/ romance

Disclaimer                    : NCIS…definitely not mine

Spoiler                         : None

KIBBS series:  Trouble & problem ~ Marital Bliss ~ Imagine ~ Cursed & Blessed ~ Drool ~ All I have ~ Immortality(end)



Gibbs is in anguish. The moment he acts on his feeling to Kate, he knows he is in trouble. Yet, as old as he is, he is still unable to control himself, shame on him. About a week ago, after a long hard case, they returned to HQ and had a drink at Ducky’s place. It was midnight after they went home.

He was really careful not to drink in Ducky’s place, guarding himself and her of course. He can feel that he is attracted to her, so he is avoiding her. After a week sleeping and working together, driving him crazy, he can hardly concentrate. Seeing her in mussed hair and sleeping attire are not helping.

So, one thing lead to another, he ended up sleeping with her, TWICE, in her apartment. Damn it Jethro, you are bloody old with three divorces.


Despite of all her problem at work, boy toys, parents and the last but not least on her list, falling for her grumpy boss, Kate is excited.

She shouldn’t have slept with him though, TWICE! Then he said he was too old for her, it’s not going to work. Kate got pride all right. She pretends it was OK! That nothing ever happens, it cuts her deep and painful…but she feels good today.

It is almost Thanksgiving, count down to a few more days…YES YES YES, holiday season.Got great books to read, shopping, meet some friends for movies, shopping, the list goes on. Perhaps, liking her boss is just a phase, just a life’s sad crisis.

Last night she received a call from her oldest brother Jeremy, His family is coming from Nashville, Tennessee to visit her, her niece and nephew are going to visit their “bestest-favoritest-coolest aunt in the whole world” they said. So, Kate has the whole week plan for her little ones. Life is great.



He shakes his head, trying to get back to the present. Away from her warmth, into the cold bleak existence.

She is cold to him now, he is hurting, but it is his own doing. But, she stays professional at work. She avoids him whenever possible. He was all right with her coldness for a few days, but now, he can’t stand it anymore.

She hangs put more with Tony and McGee. Tony has stopped teasing her, he’s been quite civilize with her. When Gibbs arrives in the bullpen, it was still empty. He sits in his chair, tired. He couldn’t get much sleep for many nights; he wearily lies on his chair and feels asleep within minutes.


Abby’s LAB

Kate is in Abby’s lab. She rather stays with Abby and enjoys her antics than be in the bullpen with Gibbs. It was almost 9.Lab’s intercom buzz, “Abby/lab” she answers.

“Hey Kate, you have visitors in the…” Abby is cut off by Kate’s screams. Kate jumps and takes the stairs down. “Yes, yes, yes” she said to herself. Then she sees her brother, his wife and two angels.



“AHHHH…” Kate screams as the toddlers runs to her and jumps to her arms

“Aunt Katie…” they kiss her furiously, and she kisses them and blows raspberry to their tummies.

“I miss you Aunt Katie” Joshua said. “I miss you more Aunt Katie” Jaclyn said

“No…I miss you more, Aunt Katie” Joshua shoves his sister. “No…No…I miss you moooore Aunt Katie” she insists

“Guys…guys…stop it, I miss you all equally” she kisses and hugs them.

“Hi Kate” her brother kisses her in the head over his kids

‘Hi Jeremy” she hugs him hard...“Hi Lucy” she greets her sister in law. It’s been too long.

Kate is so happy. Her niece and nephew are grabbing her skirt, for her attention.

“Kate, can we talk to you in private?” Jeremy asks...“What? Yeah sure” Kate is confused, still talking to the kids. “Can we talk…without them?” Lucy points at the kids...“What? Yeah sure” Something is horribly wrong.”Ok, I’ll figure something out”

Where can she put them? Abby is busy, Ducky and Tony are not in yet. The bullpen is her only choice. “Ok guys…want to see where I work?” she asks...‘YEAHHH…!” they scream and jump happily. Oh dear, she thought. She got a few minutes to convince Trouble and Problem to calm down and not destroy anything.



Few minutes later, they arrive at her still quiet bullpen. They are much calmer than before. She holds them tightly, to make sure they don’t charge in. Shoot! Her boss is there, asleep in his chair.

Kate walks them to her chair “Guys…remember what I told you?”

“Yes Aunt Katie” they whispers but with a twinkle in their eyes

“Promise?” Kate makes sure...“Promise, Marine’s honor” Joshua and Jaclyn salute her.

“Oh…I love you guys so much” she misses them like crazy, kissing them again.

“Ok, I got to go to your mommy and daddy, ok? Be quiet, stay here, don’t touch anything…remember what I told you in the elevator” Kate whispers to them

“Ok…ok…we know, we are not kids…we know…” Joshua whispers back to his aunt. Kate dashes back to the lobby for her brother and his wife, she is worried about them. What’s going on? Never seen him that way before. She brings them to empty meeting room around the corner.


MEANWHILE, in the bullpen

Gibbs feels cold and tired, and he looks around. Did somebody turn off the light? Power failure? Then he remembers that Kate is secretly afraid of the dark. It’s her phobia. What is going on? What happen? I have to find Kate. Then he hears noises, hustling, and giggling…children voice. Where on earth is he?

Then, as he groggily wakes up…he was dreaming.He shakes his tired head. He didn’t sleep much after the Kate incidents. His bourbon and boat are not helping much. Wait a minute. What’s that noise? He raises his head and sees what’s causing the rackets.

Two pairs of beady eyes are looking up at him. The boy is rather stout and cute with dark brown hair, cut in a bowl shape, his eyes looks like trouble, he looks familiar but Gibbs couldn’t put his finger on it.

When he sees the little girl, he knows. She looks like a smaller, sassier version of Kate with lighter hair. It’s her eyes, and she is sucking her thumb, looking at him, smiling.

“Hello…who are you? What’s your name?” Joshua asks

Gibbs is shocked to hear his voice, he thought he was dreaming.

“I’m Joshua, I am three and a half or four” he said

“I’m Jaclyn, I am two and a half” she quickly said, not wanting to lose to her brother.

Gibbs clears his throat, ‘I’m Jethro” he is not stating his age. “Are you sleeping on the job Jethro?” Joshua asks

Gibbs couldn’t answers the question...“Aren’t you afraid your boss will eat you alive?” she whispers to him in fear

“What?” Gibbs is confused...“Yeah…It is true…” she insists, still sucking her thumbs

“She doesn’t say…eat you alive…Jaclyn. She said boss Gibbs will cook you first…then eat you…” Joshua is twitching his face, showing his teeth to her, scaring her.

“Stop it Joshua…” she screams, cover her ears and runs to Gibbs. She bumps his knees and Gibbs pulls her up and sits her on his thigh.

“Ha…ha…ha, you scary cat!” her brother laughs at her...Jaclyn buries her face to Gibbs’ chest, refusing to see her annoying brother.

“So, who told you about that Joshua?” Gibbs is curious.

“Our Aunt Katie” he answers proudly, puffs his chest.

“She also said that Gibbs has fangs” Joshua rolls his lips up, showing his teeth, snapping at Jaclyn. “Aren’t you afraid he’ll eat you up too Jethro?” She asks, ignoring her brother, looking up at Gibbs.

“Nope” he grins at her, “It’s not going to happen” without realizing he hugs her.

“Why?” the boys asks, inching towards Gibbs with curiosity...“Because I have guns and I can fight” he answers cheekily

“Cool…” Joshua bellows, he is at Gibbs other knee now

“Can I see it? Can I touch it? My dad never let me touch his guns” Joshua complains

“For good reason I think” Gibbs answers...“Are you a sniper?” Joshua continues...“I was…” Gibbs wonders how three and a half years old could know so much. Without realizing, Joshua is pulling himself up to Gibbs knee. So he pulls the boy to sit on his lap. He continues to talks excitedly.

‘When I grow up, I want to be a marine” ..."Me too!” the girl adds, not wanting to lose

‘You are a girl Jaclyn and you cry too much, marines don’t cry” he adds... “No, I don’t cry too much” she snaps at him and kicks him in the shin.

“You are a cry baby” he shouts at her, rubbing his shin...“No I am NOT”, “Yes, YOU are”

“Hey…hey guys! The marines accept both girls and boys, no exception” Gibbs tries to calm the Kids that are occupying his laps.


Meeting room

“What?” Kate shouts, looking back and forth to her brother and his wife. “That is not an option guys” It is ridiculous, it’s not a game.

“We tried everything Kate”

“Then try harder, it’s not good enough”

‘Kate, please…try to understand”

“No…you guys are so selfish”

“Do you know what it will do to your kids?”. “Have you considered that?”... “No, that is not an option…what about Joshua and Jaclyn?”

“They don’t know about us Kate”...“Damn well they better not!”


“We are going to stay with out Aunt Katie” Joshua explains

“We are going to celebrate our Thanksgiving together, our big jolly family” Jaclyn holds her hands up and above, expressing herself.

“Do you celebrate Thanksgiving Jethro?” Jaclyn asks

“Ehh…no” Gibbs stutters, he is not celebrating Thanksgiving; he has nothing to be thankful for anyway.

“You don’t have kids???” she finds it weird...“No…” I am pathetic Gibbs thought.

“Don’t you like kids?” she asks curiously. She is worse than Kate, he thought and she is only two and a half years old!

‘I like children” he answers stiffly...‘Are you Married Jethro?” He is not going to answer that...“So why don’t you have kids? You don’t like the noise and the mess, is it?” she sounds so sad, Gibbs noticed.

“No no. That’s not it…” not knowing how to answers such an innocent questions. How to explain to a sweet two and half and a three and a half years old that he is a loser that’s been divorced three times with no kid.

 Joshua saves Gibbs.

‘Jaclyn, you are so…stupid! You are such…a girl! Jethro doesn’t has kid but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like kids” He cross his arms in front of his chest..“Aunt Katie loves us and she doesn’t have kids!” Gibbs thought he looks and sounds like 40 years old instead of three and a half years old boy. “That’s because our Aunt Kate kicks ass and boys are afraid of her, ha…ha…ha…”Jaclyn laughs

‘If you are alone… you can join us for thanksgiving’ she looks up to him, pitying him. “Yeah…and bring your guns” Joshua adds excitedly...“I’ll show you my new dress” Jaclyn said

“EUWWW… nobody wants to see your stupid dress” Joshua mocks her...“OUWWW…” Joshua rubs his shin. She kicks him again, but Gibbs noticed that he never retaliates to his sister.

 The elevator doors opened. Tony walks into the bullpen with his backpack.

“Morning boss…” he stops in his track

“Boss? Something you are not telling me about?”, ‘Yours…?” he tries his luck

“No we are not!” Jaclyn answers haughtily and wraps her arms around Gibbs’s neck, looking at Tony.“Kate is out aunt, who are you?” Joshua asks

“I see…I am special Agent Tony Dinozzo…at your service!” He straightens up...“I work with your Aunt Kate” he adds... ‘Ohh…yaa… I know you…Tony!” Joshua exclaims

“So…did your aunt talked about me?” Tony asks smugly...“Aunt Katie said you chase skirt!” Joshua answers him

“Why do you chase skirt Tony?” Jaclyn asks

“Because he likes to wear skirt, Jaclyn…” Joshua answers, annoyed at his sister...“But…he is a boy!” Jaclyn looks confused, talking to his brother...“Aunt Katie said Tony wears them when no one is looking…hi…hi…hi” Joshua laughs

 Suddenly, Gibbs laughs out loud. So loud that a couple of other agents looks at him. They never heard him laughed like that. Gibbs laughed till she shook. Tony is shocked! Bloody Kate! He thought.

So Tony just stands, not moving, in front of his boss who is holding two little munchkins.

The other agents who are passing by are looking at Gibbs holding his kids? That can’t be right. They are so sweet and cute. On the other hand, Gibbs is not sweet or cute at all.

 Kate is fuming mad, how could they do this to themselves. How could they do this to their children? She cursed. She enters the elevator, going up to her bullpen. Damn… It’s been an hour…Shoot! Trouble and Problem.

 ‘Do you have fangs Jethro?” Jaclyn asks, looking at his mouth...“Nope” he shows her his teeth...“You smells like coffee Jethro” the little girl sniffed him

‘Of course he smells like coffee, he already drinks, one, two, three, four, five cups” Joshua counts the empty cups from his thrash. ”Girls! They can only complain and cry, they don’t notice anything” Joshua grumbles like an old man.  Gibbs is looking back and forth between Jaclyn and Joshua, listening to their bickering and nonsense that actually make sense?


Tony is looking at his boss. He never pictures Gibbs with kids. He is grouchy, rude, loud and overbearing, but right now, he is NOT!

Tony saw he kisses the smaller, sassier version of Kate to her head and the kid lets him. Gibbs laughed at the boy’s jokes, looking at him proudly. Where’s the monster that he knew for years?

“Where’s Aunt Katie Jethro?”

“She is talking to mom and dad Jaclyn, discussing adult matter” Joshua informs her proudly

‘We shouldn’t make too much noise, she is going to be mad if we disturb her boss Gibbs” Jaclyn said...“He’ll fire her ass!” Joshua closes his mouth after he said ass.

“Really?” Tony looks at the duo

“Yeah…if she is fired, she’ll be jobless, no money, and no food…poor Aunt Katie” Jaclyn said, sadly shakes her sorry puny head.

“That’s why we promise her, not to bother her grouchy boss Gibbs” Joshua supports his sister.

“Are you afraid of him Tony” she asks...“Afraid…yes… you can say that” he looks at Gibbs

‘You should be… Aunt Kate said he got fangs, like a vampire and he can suck the life out of you!” Joshua said

‘AHHH…Jethro, make him stop!” She wails...“Hey…c’mon… don’t scare your sister” Gibbs intervenes. He moves his legs apart, creating some distance between them.

“You two smucks are going to be in so much trouble when your aunt finds out…oh dear…oh dear” Tony said happily. Gibbs glares at him, he shuts up.

“Why is he laughing at us Jethro?”, “Aunt Katie is not going to be mad, is she? I’m scared” Jaclyn asks, poking at Gibb’s chest.

“Yeah, she is scary when she is mad” Joshua said...‘She kicked dad’s ass before” The boy adds.

Gibbs hugs them, “nah… she won’t be mad”, “I won’t let her, you are safe with me” they look up at him like he is their hero, Gibbs thought. He feels love seeping through his old bones like never before.


DING, the elevator doors open. Kate looks pissed, lost in her thought. Tony quickly moves back to his desk.

“Good morning Kate” he greets her with a big smile on his clown face.

“Hmmph…Morning To…” she froze......She sees her niece and nephew, both of them on Gibbs’ lap, talking to him, bickering with each other loudly.

 “JACKLYN…JOSHUA!” she shouts at Trouble and Problem, without realizing how loud she is. She was still piss with their parents.

“WHAT DID I TOLD YOU?” She glares at them....The kids jumps, shocked to see her so mad.

“Aunt Katie…we didn’t do anything…” Joshua manages to speak, inching closer to Gibbs, while Jaclyn just plainly hides her face to Gibbs’s chest. Oh my God, what do they do, Kate panics, and she walks towards Gibbs’s desk.

“Kate, they didn’t do anything” Gibbs holds them closer to him; his arms are encircling the smucks, shielding them from her. WHAT? I’m their aunt. Jaclyn is holding onto his neck, her face hiding in his crook. Joshua is looking at his own feet, holding Gibbs’ arm tightly. Kate glares at them again.

Gibbs glares at her, as if daring her to do anything to Trouble and Problem.

“JOSHUA, JACLYN…” Kate bellows again...“KATE…” Gibbs warns her. “What?” she answers, this is personal.

“JOSHUA, JACLYN” she barks at them, pointing where she is standing, which means, telling them to come to her.

“They didn’t do anything wrong, Kate” Gibbs calmly explains, he change his tone, he has no experience with women and kids, decided to back down a little. But he still holds them tight, his voice in calm and clears but serious, she better not hurt them He feels them jumps again in his arms again.

He is protecting them, very possessive she noticed. They are not his; they are more hers and his, actually...Nevertheless, his calm tone calms her down a great deal, she is less mad now.

 “Guys…I told you not to bother Gibbs, yes?” she asks them...“Yes, Aunt Katie, we promised you that” they answer

“We didn’t bother Gibbs” Joshua said...“We just woke Jethro up, he was having a nightmare, poor Jethro…” Jaclyn sucks her thumb again, looking at Kate and Gibbs while she stroke Gibbs’s cheek with her free hand.

Kate gapes at the trio. Now she understands, it’s her fault.

‘I’m sorry I yelled guys” she said “But, Jethro…is Gibbs”

Both of their heads snap back in unison, looking up at jethro who is smiling down at them.

“YOU are GIBBS?” Joshua amazes...“But you don’t have fangs” Jaclyn said.

Tony laughs, “ HA…HA…HA haha…KATE!... What did you say to them?” he hits his table over and over again.


“Aunt Katie…Gibbs is nice, he doesn’t eat children” Joshua defend his savior...“..And he smells nice too, coffee…” Jaclyn sniffs him....Did I see my niece sniffed my boss? Oh my GOD, Kate closes her eyes with her hand. What did they do? She sees Gibbs eyes twinkling at them.

“C’mon guys…come here” she lowers herself to their height.

Gibbs turns his chair, so Joshua and Jaclyn can slip down to the floor...“Sorry Gibbs…” Kate whispers

“Kate…don’t be” he insists. “I’ll be back Gibbs” as she takes the kids hands, takes their bags with them....“Bye Jethro”, “Bye Tony” Jaclyn and Joshua wave their chubby hands at them.

 Kate quickly walks back to the bullpen after she left them with Ducky.

“Gibbs…I am so sorry” she apologizes. “It’s ok Katie, I really meant it” he looks at her...“Their parents are going to get a divorced” she whispers to him, she has to share it with someone, it’s been eating her alive.

“They drop them here to stay with me for a while, till they got things settled… the kids… they didn’t know Gibbs and I’m going to keep it that way. I didn’t have the heart to break their little hearts” tears start falling down her cheek...‘I’m sorry Katie” he hugs her, hold her to his chest. She pulls away from him, not wanting to feel too much of him....“I’ll get back to my paperwork, I won’t slack, I promised” she goes back to work

Tony feels sorry for her and the two smucks.

“Kate, I can help, as long as they don’t make me wear skirts” Kate looks at him fondly and they laughed together, even Gibbs laughed.They go back to their work, Gibbs couldn’t concentrate, thinking about divorces, and what’s going to happen to the kids.

Gibbs left the bullpen without a word. As soon as he left, Kate makes a couple of phone calls, looking for a sitter. With no results…during the holiday season.

Not to worry, we’ll pull it through, she said to herself. She looks at the time. Oh shoot! It’s past noon, the kids, she has to feed them.

“Tony…pizza? treat?” she asks the dubious question. “YES KATE!” and Tony dial his favorite number in the world.


Four large pizza, 3 large sodas and juices. Tony and Kate bring them to the Autopsy.

They are not prepared to see what happen to the usually pristine, somber autopsy room.

Ducky is sitting on the floor, laughing with tears. Joshua is wearing an autopsy scrub, folded to his minute size. Jaclyn is on Gibbs shoulder, singing and clapping her hands. Abby is lying on the steel autopsy slab, with Joshua operating on her head with a ruler. The noise, the laughter, the happiness, the mayhem.

Kate and Tony’s mouths are gaped open, holding the food.

“Aunt Katie…” Jaclyn screams, “AHH……more, more,…higher…” she squeals as Gibbs throws her in the air.

 “Hungry guys?” Tony and Kate go to the table to put the food down...“PIZZAAAA!!!” Joshua jumps up and down, excited and runs to the pizza.

‘Wow, you are the best, Aunt Katie… mom never let us has pizza unless we are very good…and we are seldom very good…” he pries the box open...“Joshua” Kate slaps his hand softly, looking at him.

Kate takes Jaclyn from Gibbs’ arms, “C’mon, let’s wash your grubby little fingers” she kisses her cheek lovingly and the three of them walk out the room.

Abby was looking at the domestic scene and she grinned. She thought they look great as a family. The remaining adults set the food on the tables. Abby pours drinks “WOW, I’m hungry” she said.

Few minutes later, they return, running to the pizza.

Joshua is big enough to feed himself with not much mess. Jaclyn sits on Kate’s lap as she feeds her and the rest gallop their food.

“Tony…lay off the juice” Kate slaps his hand...“Yeah… lay..offf daa jusss toonii” Joshua talks with his mouth full

“Joshua…” she reminds him

“Mom only let us eats pizza once a month Aunt Katie…if we are good” Jaclyn complains to Kate.

“Well sweetie…when you are here, you can have pizza anytime you want” Tony adds and Jaclyn gives Tony her sweetest smile ever. But when Jaclyn is done with her food she goes to Gibbs’ lap. “Best lunch ever Kate” Abby said. “Yes, Caitlyn, very nice…my turn tomorrow, so you don’t have to worry if you left for a case” Ducky adds. Kate looks at him thankfully.

“Thanks Kate” Gibbs said gruffly

He is still eating; Jaclyn is perched on his lap, drinking her juice, with Gibbs holding her puny juice box to her mouth. The man spoils her and she lets him...Ducky, Abby and Tony are looking at Gibbs who is oblivious to his surrounding, enjoying himself with Trouble and problem…Tbc-nova2007


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