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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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I believe (Gibbs's POV, drabble, romance, PG-13, KIBBS, NCIS fiction)

Title                                          : I believe
Rating                                       : PG 13
Fiction                                       : KIBBS drabble
Spoiler                                     : Yankee white
Disclaimer                               : NCIS ….definitely not mine

He never believe in love at first sight
HELL! He hardly believes in love
He doesn't do romance
He knows and enjoys lust
He is familiar with pain when his wives leave him
He is familiar with humiliation when his wives cheated on him
He likes women and sex, but never once he cheats on his partner
He knows the meaning of friendship is…
He was glad that Ducky is in his life when he was broken for many times
HELL NO! He doesn't believe!

GOD cheats on him
He never ask any favor from him
But yet, God manages to screw his faith in life
LEROY JETRHO GIBBS never believes
But when decades of anguish manage to catch on to him
He cries and he curses God, I don't believe in you

And, God winks at him and says:
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you are about to eat your own foot, you'll see…"
Then a marine died on air force one.
How ironic, everything happens for a reason, even in death.
He goes there with no expectation that God is about to kick his sorry ass
He never expect because he doesn't believe anymore
One night stands are good enough for the old broken bastard

The first time he lays eyes on her
She was in a suit, all tired and pissed off
Damn… who's that woman?
Who was not paying a slightest bit of attention to him
Until… he pissed her off
She was arguing with the FBI and…many more
All males around her, poor baby, she was the only female
HELL NO! One night stand is not he wants from her
He wants more…

But, she is not a red head
Unlike his previous flings and wives
They were all red heads
All stunning strikingly beautiful … yet cold

She is all kind of warm, fuzzy, small and dark haired
Properly clothed, a bit too much for his taste
Sexy as hell though, even though she doesn't know it
HELL, she protects the president of the United Stated of America
He knows she must be different
He knows she must be special
But he doesn't know whether he believes, yet…

He stared at the woman as she was talking with the others
Captivated by her presence
Ducky noticed my unusual behavior within seconds
My best friend, a father that I never have, understood everything

Then, she must have felt that I was staring at her
And she looked at me in the eyes
And glared at me
I got goose bump
It's love at first sight
I felt it in my heart and she must have felt it too
Don't you think?
I bet we couldn't stop looking into each other
If not because of the argument around us
And she was defending her ground

She busted my lies and tricks
She must be smart, not bad, I am intrigued
I just love provoking her, I don't know why
Perhaps to be closer to her?
Perhaps to witness the passion from the window to her soul?
Perhaps just to hear her voice?
Perhaps just to get to know her?
HELL, who knows why?

She was pissed, she felt threatened
I was invading her territory, her belongings, and her responsibilities
She'll make a wonderful mother to my children
When I attacked her abilities
She fought back with a vengeance
If not because of protocol or my badge
She would kick my sorry ass back to D.C
She'll protect our children to her death

I make her chased me around Air force one
Without her knowing of course
See, she is good, that I admit
But, I am much older than her with far more experience and tricks up my sleeve
We were so close; it took all my will power and discipline of a marine
Not throw her on her back, kiss her senseless and have my way with her
I can smell her, I can feel her heat
Once, I was so close to her I can smell her hair

Then, she was sick
When I found out how, I was mad, I was jealous
Even though I have no right to be
I was jealous that she was with somebody
She is mine

She lies down
She looks so small and fragile
I wanted to hold her and keep her safe
I am befuddled by my own feeling
I am confused by my own urges

When she feels guilty because her boss gives her orders
When she was loyal to her ass-boss, loyal to her job
She said sorry to me
I know she'll always be faithful
I know that she'll be a loyal wife to me
Her principles and humanity makes her strong and a woman
She is what I've been searching for all my sorry life

I lied to her in order to do my job
She was in trouble because she trusted me
I'm so sorry baby
I promise
I'll make it up to you, someday, when you'll have me
I'm so sorry baby

When I'm back at work
I am restless
There's no way, I don't get to see her again
I want more
So, I tag along…with a solid reason of course

When I found out that her lover was dead
I was scared, I was glad and I was worried
When I found out she is what I think she is
I was so happy I want to believe again

I touched her
I hugged her
I smell her
I hold her
It's not enough
It's making it worse, I want more
I have to own her, body and soul
I'm so sorry I made you cry baby
But I am not sorry that I hold you in my arms

I've made up my mind
Caitlyn Todd is destined to me mine
She'll be my wife
She'll be the mother of my children
She'll be the guardian of my soul
She'll hold my heart in her hand

GOD, I've eaten my own foot
I've broke my ego and pride
I am wrong and you are right
I believe that you have plans for me
I believe it is through you I find my salvation
I believe that you've never left me with my perils alone
I believe that you've heard my prayers
I believe that you feel my pain
I believe that you want the best for us, your sinners
I believe that you let me go through my pain, so I learned
That love is precious
That faith and courage are important
I believe that when the time is right, it will all happen

Thank you God for still believing in me, your lost child when I doubt you

And, Caitlyn Todd, you better believe it that you'll be mine
And when the time is right I'll let you know and take you to our home

It takes me 3 long years to get you,
Now as I woke up with you in my arms, with our child heavy in your womb
I wink at God.
Thank you…