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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife


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KIBBSsolemn
novasupernova

ALL I HAVE 4

Chapter 4 All hell breaks loose

Kate arrives at home:

“Momiiiiiiii” Robert greets her as he runs towards her in joy before she even closes the door. Gibbs is behind him, walking towards her at his own pace.

Robert reaches his mother and hugs her legs, looking up at her. Kate bends down to his level, kisses his cheeks and asks him “Hi baby, you are all clean and dressed, have you been a good boy with daddy?”

“Yes!” Robert answers quickly, but he has something else he wants his mom to know. “Daddy bad boy!!!” He is frowning at his mother, his blue eyes shining, just like his dad’s. Gibbs is right by their side by then.

“What did you do Jethro?” Kate is laughing with him, but before he can answer her, Robert speaks up” Bobby don’t want girl! Bobby want Boy!”

“Oh I see” Kate realizes that Gibbs tried to convince their son about the possibility of a baby girl.

“Bobby” Kate exhales and picks him up. “Look, mommy is a girl, don’t you love mommy?” Kate asks him.

Robert looks confused, “Yes he says, he does love him mother.

Gibbs suddenly remembers, he interrupts them; “Kate, when are you going back to Dr. Strebel?” He haven’t heard his wife talking about appointments, he remembers she had plenty of them with their first child.

“Oh, I am not sure, thanks for reminding me, I’ll find out right away”

Kate is walking towards the living room with her son in her arms “HEY let’s go out for lunch! You are going back to work tomorrow, we won’t see much of you anymore” Kate decides.

Gibbs takes Robert from her arms, “C’mon Robert…Kate you shouldn’t carry him anymore”. Kate just keeps quiet, Robert pouts unhappily but he doesn’t say a word, her boy is quite smart, he seems to know just when to push his luck with his dad and when to keep quiet.

Kate thinks Robert understands when his dad is not joking. She also knows that despite her husband’s infamous temper, he loves his family.

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Jealous

That night, all hell breaks loose.

It is past seven, Robert is eating his ice cream, he’s been a good boy and Kate promised him he could eat his choice of food IF he was good! And he’s been very good. Kate is with her son in the living room, helping the boy so he doesn’t make too much of a mess.

The phone rings, Gibbs is in the basement and he picks up the phone. A few seconds later, “Katie, it’s yours!” he bellows from the basement.

“Don’t make too much mess Bobby” Kate messes his tidy hair and speaks to her son before she leaves him. He just nods, he is engrossed in his yummy dessert.

“Todd” Kate answer her nearest line, which is by the kitchen’s island

“Oh Hi Luke” and she sees Gibbs walking out from the basement, walking into the kitchen and washing his hands in the sink.

“Katie, sorry! Did I catch you at a bad time?” Luke asks.

“Oh no it’s OK, I was feeding my son, but he can manage” Kate replies quickly, somehow she feels sorry for the man.

“I see so it is your husband who answered the phone” more of a statement than a question.

“Yep! The one and only” She jokes with her ex and she feels Gibbs’s hands circling her waist, he is kissing her neck.

“Jethro, I am on the phone” Kate whispers uncomfortably to him.

“Sure, sure Luke! OK. When? All right! What time? Sure, not a problem” Kate manages to converse with Luke as she tries to get out from Gibbs's “Octopus hands”.

She continues, “OK! Sure, I’ll bring my son with me, OK, bye!” and she hangs up.

“Jethro!” She scowls halfheartedly; she knows that he is NOT happy with the call. She turns, facing him.

"He doesn’t know that you are married?” he questions Kate.

“I guess not Jethro and I didn’t tell him because he is going through a divorce” Kate looks at him, sees a tinge of insecurity in his eyes, “Why do you ask?” Kate asks him but instead of answering her, he bombards her with questions.

“Why did he call? Who is he?” Gibbs is NOT known for his subtlety. He is still holding her in his arms, caging her with her back on the kitchen’s island.

“He is my ex, Jethro. We dated long time ago” Kate explains as she tries to get out from his arms.

“MOMMY” Robert calls out for his mom, he drops his ice cream bowl on the floor.

“Coming sweetie!” Saved by her son, Gibbs regretfully lets her go to attend the boy.

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That night Gibbs skips his dinner and works on his boat.

When Kate asks him he says he is not hungry and she leaves him alone. By nine, after she put Robert to bed in his “own private basement” next his parents’ room; Kate starts on her chores.

Her mobile rings, “Hi Tony” She sees the caller ID.

“Hmm…OK! Sure! Not a problem…oh no! Not Thursday Tony, I got a doctor’s appointment, OK! Who? You are kidding me?"

Kate is nodding, talking on her mobile and she is surprised by the news.

She turns, about to exit the kitchen, she stops in her tracks as she sees Gibbs eating! Eating his dinner which she was about to put away because he said he wasn’t hungry.

“OK Tony, I will see you then, be good!” and she hangs up.

She pulls up a chair and sits next to her husband who is acting like her two year old when he is mad, Men!!! Gibbs is not talking, he is eating and ignoring his wife. She wants to laugh out loud but realizes that it is not wise. Not knowing what else to do, Kate leaves her seat.

She gently cups her husband’s face and looks into his deep blue eyes. She can see uncertainty and fear of abandonment in them and says to him: “Jethro, you have nothing to be jealous about, absolutely nothing! I love you very much” she kisses his temple twice, smiles at him sadly and leaves him to finish his dinner in peace.

In her heart, Kate knows her husband is agitated about her ex calling. Men and their egos - unbelievable! She should be more jealous, she should be madder than him; he’s been married and divorced THREE times! The man has THREE ex-wives, YET he is jealous of her mere ex, incomprehensible, Kate thinks.

Oh no, Tony! Kate remembers the news Tony told her minutes ago, Gibbs is going to have a fit! Kate ignores her trouble, takes her late shower, checks on Robert and goes to bed; she already knows that her husband won’t be joining her until much later.

It is past midnight when Kate is awoken and realizes that her husband is joining her in bed. She is in his arms, he hugs her tight, “I love you Kate” she hears him whisper, he sounds so sad and troubled.

Kate can’t take it anymore, she slowly turns, facing him.

She gazes into his eyes, the night light gives a yellow warm glow to his  face, she looks at him with all the love she can muster, to show him that he has nothing to worry about, hoping it might heal his soul just a tiny bit.

“You are not asleep yet?” he sounds surprised.

“I was waiting for you, then I fell asleep” she strokes his hair. There is nothing left to be said, she can only show him, Kate kisses him gently, he reciprocates with passion and neediness.

Minutes later, their clothes are discarded and they are making love. They love everything about it, but somehow, that night their lovemaking is rather savage and hard on his part and she matches his desires with equal passion, following his rhythm.

Afterwards, Kate lies sated in his arms, listening to his breathing, smelling his fragrance, when he finally admits the truth: “Katie, I am so afraid of losing you, that you would leave me like…”

And Kate finishes his sentence “…like your ex wives” What is it with men and their egos and insecurity? “Do I look like any of your ex wives, baby?” she wonders and laughs with him.

“No, Katie…hell no” he can’t help himself and laughs into her naked breasts.

“So, do me a favor and don’t compare me with them, pleeeeease” Kate begs. They are feeling peace and contentment.

Suddenly Kate remembers, she remembers that she has to tell him the news, the reason why Tony called hours ago; she would rather tell him than somebody else informing him at work, and have him burst into the HQ tomorrow morning.

“Jethro I have to tell you about something…” Kate starts treading her way.

“What is it sweetie?” he is getting sleepy.

“It’s about Lt. Cobalt, my ex” She decides to go straight to the point and she feels him stiffen in her embrace and he is looking into her eyes.

“Tony called! Lt. Cobalt is involved in some kind of naval research and he asked for NCIS's help and Tony wants me to help the team, his case!” and she feels him shift, creating some distance between them.

“What? Who the hell made the decision?” Gibbs can’t believe what he is hearing from his wife who is still lying naked in their bed. What a nightmare, he’s only been away for three days!

“I don’t know Jethro! What did you do? Tony doesn’t know that we are…we were involved! Jethro, it is just a coincidence!” she stresses the fact.

“I don’t believe in coincidence Kate!” He snaps

“Don’t you trust me?” Kate asks purposefully, she is already sitting on the bed.

“Yes I do! It is him that I don’t trust” he is getting angrier by the second, even though he knows that it is NOT her fault.

“So?” Kate tries to understand.

“So what Kate?” he asks

“So, if I don’t give him any chances, nothing is going to happen!” she is losing her mind.

He cuts her short, “so?”

“SO what Jethro?” Kate finally snaps.

“So, you think he is going to try?” They are facing each other, like in combat!

“NO, I didn’t say that Jethro!” she looks at him incredulously.

“I don’t like it that he calls you Katie! I don’t like it that he doesn’t know that you are married! I don’t like it that you are seeing him, NO WAY IN HELL you are taking my son to see him! And…” AND KATE CUTS HIM SHORT FOR REAL!

“Robert is my son too! And what else don’t you like BOSS?!?” She asks him angrily.

“You are pregnant! I don’t want you to be involved in any case, anyway Kate” He ignores her sarcasm, calling him boss and goes on.

“That’s your excuse?” Kate exclaims.

“That is NOT an excuse Kate! It is the reason! Case closed Kate! I don’t want to talk about it anymore” He ends the conversation! Bloody jerk!

“You don’t trust me! After all these years, after all we’ve been through, I don’t get it!” Kate is fuming mad. She moves away from the bed, slips down and starts pacing. She stumbles around the dark room, looking for her nightie.

“Where do you think you are going Kate? He asks as he sees her about to leave.

“Away from you…Boss!” and she slams the door on him.

Gibbs hears her furious footsteps to Robert’s room, he knows…she must be crying and yet, there is nothing he can do to make her feel better.

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They both do not sleep a wink. He regrets being so harsh to her, he hates seeing her upset, especially because of him, but the same time he can’t help himself, he can not control his jealousy, he can not control his emotions.

Kate is upset that her husband doesn’t trust her! How could he? She regrets that his mind and heart are still corrupted by his past failures. So, after all these years, she hasn’t managed to heal his broken heart; she fears that she could never heal his pain.

By the time she calmed down, it is already dawn. “Enough crying and sulking Kate! You are not a baby!" She berates herself.  

She is looking at her precious child, sleeping peacefully, a miniature of her with her husband’s "eccentric” characteristics, to put it nicely. She has to forgive Jethro, she has to find a way to makes things work, her Bobby is counting on her and Jethro to do the right thing and she can only hope that her husband feels the same way.

Kate couldn’t sleep, she wants to starts her day, it's morning and there is no point holding a grudge against the man she loves anyway. Kate goes downstairs, walking towards the kitchen and she notices light from the basement. YEP! He is already working on his boat, and it is only past six!

Suddenly she feels like crying again.

Kate enters their basement; she sits in the middle of the stairs, looking at her Jethro working furiously, almost angrily, at the wooden beams of the boat skeleton. A few seconds later, he stops working and sees her sitting miserably on the stairs, she looks worn out. Kate can’t help it, she has to know, and the fight can’t go on.

“Jethro, have I ever done something that makes you doubt my loyalty to you?” holding her tears back.

“No Katie, never!” he answers quickly. She has been a wonderful mother and wife to him and Robert, never once did she neglect them.

“So? Why are you behaving this way? Why are you so jealous?” she asks.

“I don’t know Katie…I don’t know…its just the way I am…” he murmurs, not looking at her, in a way he is embarrassed by his behavior, and he goes on, “I…just don’t want to lose you Katie, that’s all” he looks into her teary eyes.

“Jethro, I am not leaving you! I love you! You are my husband! For God’s sake I am pregnant with our second child…” Kate tries really hard to hold in her tears, but she is losing the battle and her tears fall down her cheeks where she is seated on the stairs, hugging her legs.

“The only way you would lose me would be if you cheat on me, or I die!!! And I believe that you wouldn’t cheat on me.” Damn hormones! Damn husband! She is crying like a baby.

Gibbs drops his tools carelessly, shocked at her reaction and quickly strides to her, takes her in his arms and holds her close to him. The woman already spoke about death and he hates it.

“I am sorry Kate, I am so sorry…I am sorry, I don’t know why…forgive me” he murmurs as he rocks her in his arms, he regrets their fight last night deeply; she is obviously still shaken by it.

“Don’t cry Kate, please. I want this to work, I want out marriage to work” he continues.

“Jethro you can not punish me for your ex wives' mistakes” Kate manages to speak through her tears, “You have to believe me, you have to believe in us, if you want this to work…” she is crying, she lets go of all the bad emotions in her.

“OK Kate! Please, don’t cry! Everything will be all right, I promise! I’ll change! For us!” He is desperate to make her stop crying.

“Yeah? You promise that you’ll try???” Kate looks up at him hopefully, after all Jethro Gibbs hardly ever lies…to her, anyway.

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” he asks.

“No” she smiles and shakes her head, tears still falling down her face. She looks so distraught, with bags under her eyes, she looks exhausted, it is his fault, he mentally hurt her, Gibbs thinks.

“Please stop crying Kate! I promise everything will be all right. Please don’t cry, it’s not good for the baby” he coaxes her and sees her wipe her eyes as she nods her head, agreeing with him.

Then:

“MOMMY…DADDY…MOMMY…DADDY…Bobby awake…Bobby wants to go down, please…” Robert calls out to his parents to set him free. They both hear their son calling for them, he sounds so innocent, so happy to start the day.

Hearing his voice calms the distraught husband and wife. His voice makes them smile at each other; they hear him again as they walk towards the boy.

“Pleeeeeease….” Roberts begs and rattles the door playfully with his hands. “Bobby wants to go to work” he bellows, he wants to go to the HQ!

Then his eyes light up when he sees his mom and dad, he explains his behavior, “Bobby wants to go to work!” just like his dad, “Bobby wants to go to work, with Ducky!”

Gibbs looks at his wife, questioning her with his eyes, yes, he has given her his ridiculous ultimatum last night about her meeting her ex and helping Tony, but he needs her to decide for herself.

Kate looks at her husband and she decides, she decides that she loves him more than her pride. “Not today Bobby, daddy is very busy at the office, OK? And you are going to accompany mommy to Doctor and then we go to the grocery…and we pick daddy at office, OK???” she baits the boy.

Robert thinks long and hard, the two year old weighs the consequences, then he decides, “OK”, and he nods to them.

“Kate…” Gibbs wants to talk to her about the decision and the case, but Kate interrupts him, “Let’s not talk in front of him, he is very perceptive you know” she signals her husband with her eyes.

“OK, we’ll talk tonight, OK Katie, I promise, we’ll fix everything” he agrees with her.

“OK” she smiles at him.

“I’ll go to Strebel with you Katie” he remembers.

“Oh Jethro, you shouldn’t! After three days you’ll be very busy today and I’ll be fine, this is not my first and I have Robert with me!” Then she looks at the boy “Yes, Robert?”

And he said proudly, “Yes, Bobby loves mommy, Bobby go with mommy”

Robert kisses his mother and the tot notices his mom's eyes are different! They are all red and wet, “Mommy cry?” the inquisitive boy asks, cupping his mother’s face.

Kate doesn’t know what to say to him and she just ignores his question, instead she changes the subject. Gibbs looks uncomfortable and feels ashamed in front of his son.

“OK Jethro, it is all set! We’ll pick you up in the evening, go, get ready sweetie, we’ll have our breakfast” she urges him and he goes along.

One hour later, his son and wife stand by the door, waving at him:

“Bye daddy” Roberts waves excitedly

“Bye Robert, I’ll see you tonight! Be good! And we’ll talk Kate, I promise” he says and she nods in a reassuring way.

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On his way to the HQ, Gibbs is lost in thought, on auto pilot.

He is embarrassed by his own behavior, he realizes that Kate never does anything to makes him doubt her loyalty, yet he acted like a jerk, an insanely jealous man; he can not comprehend the rage he felt last night.

He hurt her feelings, he hates himself for doing that, he can’t help himself for being such a draconian ass.

He recalled the first time he met her on Air Force One; how fiercely independent she was. She is still is! A bright woman he fell in love years ago and why can’t he accept her the way she is today? What is the matter with him? He has NO intention of crushing her spirit. Hell NO! But why can’t he handle her independence? Why the hell is he so jealous of her? Gibbs sighs dejectedly.

It is probably because he doesn’t believe that he deserves her; it is because he still thinks that she is too good for him, all his previous wives left him! Gibbs thought he was drunk when he proposed to her and she said YES!!!

He was deliriously happy when he found out she was expecting his child, his child, unbelievable! Not for once in his sorry life did he imagine he would have a family, have a child.

Just last week, he found out that she is expecting their second child. He was stunned - not that he was not happy - he was just not expecting it. He didn't dare dream about a second child while he is still blissfully happy with Robert! He was not expecting more blessings, because for the past five years his life has been too good to be true.

Gibbs smiles, not that they opted for any contraceptive; their method of birth control is Robert’s disruptive force. He loves her more than life, yet he is crushing her spirit. His fear is when Kate realizes that he is not good enough for her; then she’ll leave him and take Robert away from him. He shivers in fear as he imagines such things, he shakes his head, as if trying to disperse his negative thoughts.

Kate loves him, she would never do that to him, it is not logical; all she has done since there were married was to support him and his career, she even sacrificed her career for him, when he was appointed Director. Gibbs knows how much she loves and takes pride in her job, but for him, she sacrificed it! He should never doubt her loyalty, he is an old bastard, guilt is eating him alive, he should know better!

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NCIS HQ

Within half an hour of driving from his home to the HQ, Gibbs made up his mind, he’ll make things right with Kate, and she’ll not regret marrying him. Despite his resolution, he arrives in the HQ in a foul mood.

He needs to talk to that knucklehead DiNozzo about Lt. Cobalt and learn about the case but when he reaches his office, he sees his amount of work, Lt Cobalt will have to wait!

He enters his office.

Mrs. Adams sees murders in his eyes, she sighs heavily, this is not going to be a good day. Then she hears his mobile ring.

Gibbs reaches for it, he received a text message from “her”, he reads and grin, it's from his Kate, it says “I love you and Robert loves you too!”

But because of his eyesight, he never bothered to learn to text message.

To make things simpler, he calls Kate. “I love you too Katie” and he strides towards his desk.

Mrs. Adams sighs in relief, it is going to be an OK day after all.

Gibbs thinks that everything is going to be all right, everything will be fine; he’ll concentrate on the blasted paperwork.

And bless his secretary for pushing all of his meetings to next week.

Then they’ll have a long peaceful talk tonight, then he’ll take care of DiNozzo and Lt. Cobalt - his mind goes on. Soon, he is taking care of his load of work, along with some due dates, hiring, budgeting, expense accounts, decisions, decisions, decisions! He misses field work.

Then Gibbs comes across a letter, a letter that drastically changes his mood.

“Ducky” He is reading Ducky’s letter of resignation.

Without another word, he stands up and stalks to the Autopsy room, leaving Mrs. Adams bewildered…

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-Tbc-nova2007

Thanks for the BETA (MV)