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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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ALL I HAVE 5 Milk, coffee, ice cream and tears

Chapter 5 Milk, coffee, ice cream and tears

Director Gibbs stalks to the Autopsy room and several passers-by stop as they see his displeased face.

He could have called his ME, but no! He wants some explanation, he needs to talk to the man himself. What the hell is going on? Is Ducky all right? Why won’t the old man discuss the matter with him first? Is it because of his new position? All thoughts go through his mind as he strides towards Autopsy.

“Ducky!!!” He bellows as he enters the cold pristine room. What he sees, does NOT please him, he only sees the daft Palmer and Gerald.

“Where’s Ducky?” He asks both of them, who are attending a corpse on the slab.

Palmer begins to stutter, not knowing what to say. Gerald, who is more used to Gibbs's style, answers the man “It’s his day off Gibbs” he explains calmly. The Director frowns; it is true, he is not up to date with their schedule anymore, it is DiNozzo’s responsibility now. Without saying a word, Gibbs leaves the Autopsy, leaving the two younger ME bewildered, what did Ducky do?

Gibbs calls Ducky’s mobile, the old man had better not have turned off his mobile. Gibbs is about to lose his sanity, he only left work for three days and…

"DR. Mallard speaking” Ducky answers

“Ducky! What the hell is going on?” Gibbs questions the man, he is in the elevator, a couple of agents who are about to enter the elevator decide to use the stairs instead!

“Jethro, today is my only day off in a month! Please…leave me alone! You can shout as much as you want when I am back tomorrow! And I am so angry with you right now!!!” then the ME hangs up on his Director.

“What???” Gibbs murmurs in disbelief, he forcefully presses his number again.

“Ducky! Where the hell are you? And what is the meaning of…Is that Robert???” he hears his son’s voice on the background as he is about to yell at his ME. He can hear his boy’s voice very clearly, wanting to snatch Ducky’s mobile.

“Hellooooo” Roberts manages to grab Ducky’s mobile; by this time, Gibbs has entered his office and Mrs. Adams is already waiting for him by his desk.

“Robert! Is Ducky at home with you???” he asks the two year old, he has been worried about the ME, while the blasted man is at his house.

“Yes daddy, Ducky with Bobby” he answers, he is in the backyard with Ducky. “Come home daddy, pleeeeeeeeeeeease” he begs his dad

“I can’t Bobby, daddy is very busy right now. I will see you tonight, OK son! Put Ducky on!” he orders.

“Say please, daddy…” Robert refuses to give the phone back to Ducky; the old ME is having the time in his life, Caitlin couldn’t manage to teach Gibbs to say ‘please’ and it looks like the boy is teaching his dad what his mother instilled in him.

Gibbs can’t believe his ears, there is nothing else he can do.

"Please” he speaks uncomfortably, out of the corner of his eye, he can see his secretary, trying desperately to hide her amusement.

It is going to be a long day. Gibbs covers his face. “OK daddy!” he quickly passes the phone to Ducky

“Jethro, my time is precious, I hardly ever spend time with Robert, so why don’t we talk over dinner at your house, I’ll see you later Jethro” and Ducky hangs up. Gibbs can’t believe his day.

This morning, Ducky arrived at the Gibbs house only a few minutes after he left the house. Kate opens the door for him, she looks surprised.

“Ducky, come in” she lets the ME in. Dr. Mallard looks at her face, “Caitlin, what’s wrong? Are you OK?”

“Yes of course, I am all right! Come in Ducky, Robert is inside” Kate looks down, avoiding Ducky’s worried gaze, her eyes are still red from crying.

Robert must have heard his Ducky’s voice, the tot comes out from the kitchen, lunges at the ME, he is glad for the extra company, he misses his dad playing with him; then Kate left the two of them to continue her chores and getting breakfast ready for the three of them.

Ducky finds out everything from Robert Jethro Gibbs, after he bribes Robert with Gummy Bears, he questions the innocent boy:

“So, have you been a good boy Robert?” he kisses the top of his head, the two year old is occupied with the candy, he just nods his head.

“Did mommy cry?”

“Yes” he nods

“Did she cry this morning?”

“Yes” he nods again; this time he speaks up “Mommy sleeps with Bobby” he says while chewing a Gummy Bear.

Ducky is surprised, this is NOT good! He decides to press on:

“Did your mommy cry last night too?”

“Bobby don’t know” the kid shrugs his shoulders and stops his chewing, looking up at the ME.

Daddy made mommy cry?” Ducky asks again, what the hell did Gibbs do to Caitlin?

But Robert keeps quiet, he doesn’t answer the question. Ducky thought the boy looked upset and unsure of himself. He shouldn’t have asked the detail. “It’s OK Robert, you don’t have to answer me, if you don’t want to, OK?” and the old man who rarely holds him because of his rheumatism, hugs and picks the boy up and takes him to the backyard. He will deal with his dad later.

Later that day, Bobby wants to go to the park with Ducky, so Kate drops them at the park and left for grocery. She cancelled the doctor’s appointment, she is NOT in the mood for her appointment, so she rescheduled.

The two year old and Ducky are having the time of their lives. The aging man doesn’t feel his backache and rheumatism when he is having fun with the child; his laughter, antics and company are making the ME happy. In the park, the two of them enjoy the day, the fresh air does wonders for their appetite.

They make a leisurely stop at a café, seated at the veranda, basking in the evening sun, they both enjoy their ‘tea time” with sandwiches, ice cream and iced milk coffee for Robert of course, a son of a coffee addict, he knows exactly what to order, but he likes his milk and coffee cold, not hot like his daddy, he tells the waitress; the waitress gawks at the boy and Ducky.

“Are you sure, Sir? You allow your grandson to drink coffee???” she asks the grandpa

“Yes, Bobby wants cold milk coffee, please” the kid answers the confused woman.

Ducky understands the woman’s concern, but he confirms the two year old’s order, before the waitress nods warily and places their order.

Soon, they are enjoying the delicious food. Ducky lovingly tucks a napkin into Robert’s shirt because he makes a huge mess when he eats by himself, the waitress smiles when she looks at the scene, a sweet old man with a blue eyed cherub.

First they ate the sandwiches, then the ice cream; Robert scoops his ice cream and dunks it in his milk coffee.

"Yummy” he said, grinning at Ducky. Ducky looks at the melting floats of ice cream in the milk coffee, it looks scrumptious and he follows Robert’s move, dumping his ice cream in his coffee too. 

Robert finished his meal, even the skeptical waitress is impressed! The boy leans back in the chair, looks down at his bulging stomach and rubs it! Ducky does the same thing; the tot says “Bobby full”.

After Ducky paid their bill, they continue their slower walk along the path. The old man holds the tiny hand, to make sure he doesn’t lose the boy again.

The NCIS ME takes his time to educate the kid, showing him different types of trees, colors, bicycles, fishes, ducks, squirrels and everything else in the park, well…Ducky loves to talk! And he also thinks it is crucial for the boy’s mind to be challenged, it doesn’t matter to him that the two year old does not fully understand most of his words.

The boy listens to his Ducky, he doesn’t run around like when he plays with his daddy, he seems to understand that Ducky is old and he walks much slower than his dad, the kid never once leaves his side; he obediently stays by Ducky's side, holding his hand, interested in whatever Ducky is talking about and sometimes he can not help himself and he mimics Ducky’s gestures and some words.

Suddenly it is already dusk.

Ducky sees Caitlin’s car driving slowly by the park lot; it is about time to pick the child’s father, NCIS’s grumpy director, he guesses.

“Robert, your mother is here, I think we are going to pick up your father at N-C-I-S” he spells for Robert, and the kid nods then he hops gaily to the car.

“Ducky come with Bobby! N-C-I-S, come Ducky! Mommyyyyyyy” he screams to his mother.

“Hi guys” Kate greets them, she feels much better than this morning.

“Have you been a good boy with Ducky?” she skeptically asks her son

“Yes” Robert nods

“Did you run around and disappear on Ducky again?” she ogles the two year old

“No” he shakes his head

“Did you eat anything sweet?” Kate interrogates

Robert thinks hard for a while and, “NO mommy” he shakes his head, ‘ice cream is NOT anything sweet’ and Ducky coughs uncomfortably, the sly boy lies to his mother.

“OK, then you can have a scoop of ice cream tonight” Kate is satisfied with his behavior, she sees no ice cream stain on his blue shirt.

“C’mon Ducky, it’s pretty late!” Kate opens the door for the man

“We go Daddy office, N-C…?” he forgot

“N-C-I-S” Ducky reminds him

“We go N-C-I-S mommy” he shows off to his surprised mom

“You know NCIS Robert?” Kate kisses his cheeks and hoists him into his car seat, and she realizes something.

“Robert Jethro Gibbs! You ate ICE CREAM!” His cheeks are sticky.

“Yes mommy” he admits, and he explains before his mom corners him, “Bobby eat ice cream, not anything sweet” he defends his answers.

Kate crosses her arms across her chest, looking at the boy sternly. Not knowing what to answer, she sighs, admits defeat and walks to the driver's seat, hiding her laughter.

“Let’s go office mommy” Robert is already strapped in the seat.

“No Bobby! Daddy is not in the office anymore, and he will come straight home” she explains to the boy.

Dinner is ready. Ducky, I assume you’ll be joining us and spending the night, right? It is your day off” Kate asks the man sitting beside her.

“It would be my pleasure Caitlin” Ducky beams at her, his answer is greeted by Robert’s shout

“YES…Ducky stay with Bobby tonight” and the boy cheers, words that none of the adults understand.

The second they step into the house, Robert tugs Ducky all the way to his room, he wants to show Ducky something without his mother’s knowledge.

“Oh dear” Ducky murmurs to himself, as the boy pulls out a wooden box which he hides inside his toy wooden box, which his dad made for him, the small box is filled with candy!

“Shhh…” the kid placed his index finger at his lips, signaling Ducky to keep it down

“Mommy don’t know” he whispers in the ME’s ear, then he takes one out, unwraps the candy and slips it into Ducky’s mouth; the old man is shocked, he assumed the kid was going to eat the candy but he offers it to him instead.

“Thank you Robert, Ducky likes candy too”