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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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ALL I HAVE 5 Milk, coffee, ice cream and tears

It is almost seven when the man of the house arrives home; he couldn’t believe his day, now that he is home, he is reminded of their problem from last night.

As he steps into the warm cozy house, he is greeted by the two year old. “Daddiiiii” and Robert throws himself at him before he sheds his coat.

He picks up the excited two year old and the boy starts babbling about his day with Ducky. In five minutes he already knows about the park, ice cream, milk coffee and his ME is going to spend the night there.

“Good evening Jethro” Ducky greets him, Gibbs wearily nods to acknowledge the ME.

“Hi sweetie” Kate walks to her husband, kisses him and takes Robert from him and puts the boy down, “Robert is a big boy now, daddy is tired”

“Hi Kate” he greets her with a sigh, kisses her temple; it has not been a good day for him.

How was your appointment with Strebel?” he asks his wife.

Kate tenses, she completely forgot to make up an excuse for him, oh…the hell with it! For ‘normal’ people, they wouldn’t notice the sudden change of her gestures and facial expression, but Gibbs, who spends half of his life interrogating suspects, he noticed the subtle changes.

“What’s wrong Kate?” He asks Kate who is refusing to look at him

I rescheduled the appointment” she answers.

Ducky who was engrossed in the Discovery channel, witnesses the disharmony in the couple.

“What? Why?” Gibbs sounds surprised

“Nothing Jethro! I am going tomorrow instead of today…no specific reason, no big deal, I just didn’t feel like it” she looks into his eyes in defiance.

“Kate!” Gibbs can’t believe his ears

“Jethro, please! Not now, not in front of…the boy, we’ll talk later” Kate reminds him

Gibbs looks down and sees his son looking back and forth between his mother and father, he looks sad and confused, but unable to comprehend the situation; he seldom sees them argue. Gibbs nods, agreeing with Kate.

It is going to be a hell of a long night!

“Bobby help daddy” he takes his dad’s hand and they walk together to the master bedroom where his dad usually showers and changes before dinner, the kid already knows the ritual by heart.

Ducky looks at the scene and his mind wanders just for a moment; The bastard Jethro Gibbs about fifteen years ago, before the man was married for the fourth time, that awful bleak period in his life, coming home to an empty cold house, just his boat and dust awaiting him.

Look at him now with Caitlin, the ME liked the spunky girl the first time he laid eyes on her in Air Force One, a female Secret Service Agent, at that time he didn’t know they existed.

Then NCIS’s bastard hired her and naturally a few years later he married the woman. Now they have a boy, making Jethro more and more tolerable each day, he never hears him shout at his son, he barely lifts a finger at the mischievous boy.

“Ducky…Ducky” Kate calls him, “Are you all right?” she looks worried, she places her hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, I am sorry, I was just thinking, looking at Robert…” Ducky explains.

“Yeah I know…he is very close to his dad, he adores the bastard” Kate teases.

“You should have seen how he stuck to him during Jethro’s three days off” Kate adds

The little kid loves company, for him, the more the merrier. Kate tells Ducky about an incident few months ago, during the time Robert was waiting for his dad to take his shower, he decided to pick his dad's shirt, all Gibbs saw as he exited the bathroom was his son's butt, sticking out from the cupboard, and Ducky’s laughter can be heard by Gibbs on the second floor.

Dinner was pleasant and fun

When Gibbs is about to hoist his son to his high chair, he refused: “No daddy, Bobby big boy” he wishes to be seated in the adults' chair and Gibbs lets him be. It is funny how they can only see half of his head poking out above the table.

“Oh Bobby! You can’t sit there, you are too little” Kate sees the boy’s head.

Ducky has an idea, he quickly goes to his old room where he left some of his books and belongings, and he comes out with two thick textbooks and places them under the kid’s bum.

Robert is used to having guests at his dining table, his parents host plenty of “single Federal Agents” who hardly have time or bother to cook. Most of the time, Ducky, Abby, Tony, McGee or James would join them for dinner.

The old ME can see the strain between the couple, mostly from Caitlin, she is a little bit distant with her husband. Even the two year old is not happy with his parents, out of the blue, the tot asks:

“Mommy angry with daddy?” he looks at his mother who chokes on her drink when she hears the question; his dad steals a glance to his mother. Kate is sweating bullets, not knowing what to say to the kid.

“No Bobby, I am not mad with anybody” she quickly spoon feeds Robert so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. The boy closes his mouth and shakes his head, he is not done talking. Gibbs is trying his best to put on a straight face.

“Daddy angry with mommy?” he turns to his dad

“No Robert, I am not” There is no privacy in this house, Gibbs thinks, his son is NOT a baby anymore.

Robert looks at Ducky for a while, unfamiliar with the cold atmosphere, the man just smiles at him, then:

“OK Daddy! Kiss mommy!” he orders his dad and Ducky chokes on his wine.

Gibbs is looking at the boy’s blue eyes, realizes what an ass he’s been, he is glad to have his family and he wouldn’t have it otherwise. Kate is about to scold Robert for being nosy, when her husband cups her face and kisses her for one long minute.

“I am a fool, I am sorry Kate” he whispers to her when he breaks the kiss with Kate already melting from his kiss. Her face is bright red from embarrassment and happiness.

“OK, Bobby happy” he declares and continues his meal in peace, while Ducky sighs in satisfaction. But a few minutes later, the kid puts down his fork:

And, “Bobby want ice cream, mommy, please” he remembers the promise

Within seconds, before Kate registers his demand and says “no” because he’s already eaten his ice cream that evening, Gibbs stands up and walks to the fridge, takes out a tub of ice cream. His son just saved the day, he can have anything in the world, even ice cream.

Kate can’t believe how a two year old can manipulate a seasoned investigator. She is speechless when her husband calls the boy to sit in his lap and spoon feeds him chocolate ice cream…from the tub!

“Jethro, you know what he is doing to you, don’t you?” Ducky gawks at him

“Yeah, I know Ducky and I am glad he did” Gibbs answers the ME and kisses his son's head.

After ten minutes of chocolate ice cream moments, Kate intervenes, she says  “ That’s enough Jethro” and Robert grins at his dad “thank you” and slowly slips down from his lap; that’s how Robert saved the day.

That night, Gibbs Jr. insists for Ducky to sleep in ‘his basement’.

He tugs Ducky all the way to his room, while scaring the ME, telling lies that the room nearest to the kitchen, which Ducky used to occupy is full of ghosts; Gibbs is in the kitchen doing the dishes when Kate laughs loudly, hearing the boy’s lie.

“He got that from you!” Kate manages to speak amid her laughter, for a few seconds she forgot about what an ass her husband been.

“I don’t lie like Robert, Kate” Gibbs looks at her

“Yeah you do! When you interrogate suspects Jethro, you lie your ass off” she finally stops laughing. The couple look at each other, drown in each other’s eyes, they realized that there are things they have to settle but they are sure that everything is going to be all right.

It is almost ten when Ducky is in his robe and Robert is in his pajamas, the old man takes care of everything; he is about to read him stories from the “jungle book” when Gibbs knocks at the door.

“Ducky, can I have a minute with you?” Gibbs is standing by the door with his coffee.

“Of course Jethro…” Ducky puts down the book; Robert interrupts the conversation

“Bobby too” he decides as he quickly slips down from his bed

“Why don’t you wait for Ducky in your room?” the ME tries to persuades the kid

“No, Bobby follow” he wants to join them.

Kate is in their bedroom, she hears everything, her son is quite nosy. She enters Robert’s room, “Robert…baby” Kate bends down to his level, “Mommy is lonely, Bobby, stay with mommy please?” she asks Robert who is already holding Ducky’s hand. The kid thinks long and hard before he nods and follows his mother instead of the men.


Gibbs and the ME are in the basement, he pours the old man bourbon in a clean shot glass, Ducky notices. His life is in much better shape than before…before he married for the last time, he hopes.

Ducky makes himself comfortable with his bourbon, sitting on the comfortable battered old couch by the corner, while Gibbs starts working on his boat; the old man knows that he needs time to open up to him. Ducky is about to be lulled to sleep when Gibbs speaks to him:

“Ducky, I read your letter today, your resignation letter

“Oh yes, I know” Ducky replies and awakens slightly.

“Why Ducky? Are you unhappy with things at NCIS?

“Oh Jethro, I am an old man. I want to resign and enjoy what’s left of my time here. And young Palmer and Gerald are more than ready to take over my job” Ducky explains, his eyes closed, feeling the warmth from the liquid gold Bourbon. Gibbs gazes at the ME for a while after he hears the explanation.

 “I see. I thought you are unhappy at work” Gibbs is partly relieved.

“Oh no, what makes you think that? I have never been happier than these few years” Ducky thinks about the decades he has worked in NCIS.

“When are you planning to retire?”

“Perhaps, by the end of the year, after Christmas…about time your second child will arrive…I think”

Suddenly he remembers about the trip to the park this afternoon. “I had a great time today, in the park…with your son. He makes me happy Jethro” Ducky sighs and opens his eyes.

“Couldn’t imagine my life without the boy, Ducky” Gibbs places his tool down and pours himself a glass of Bourbon.

“He showed me his secret box today, do you know about it?” Ducky wonders

“Yeah, I gave him that box, it was mine. A week later I checked out the content…” Gibbs laughs, as Ducky interrupts, “…it’s filled with candies, that’s where he’s been hiding them from Kate”

Gibbs is reminded with his Kate when Ducky mentions her name, “Ducky, Kate refused to see Strebel today, she cancelled her appointment” he sighs heavily.

“I didn’t know that” Ducky is surprised.

“I don’t know what to do Ducky” Gibbs realized that shouting his displeasure is NOT going to work on Kate, she is not his agents and she is still pissed with him from the previous night.

“What I know is that you made her cry. Robert saw his mother cry…I assume you will fix whatever it is…” Ducky looks at his weary friend, and wonders why on earth is he still trapped in this nightmare.

“I don’t know Ducky” Gibbs is not sure what he can do to improve the situation.

Ducky has had enough of Gibbs, he seldom gives advice, but he can’t help it anymore:

“Jethro, don’t be a bastard in your own home! You have every single thing you ever dreamed of: better job, a loving wife, A SON! And Kate is expecting your 2nd child…” Ducky sounds really upset and angry; Gibbs looks at the ME who is getting angrier by the second.

“Don’t ruin it Jethro! Kate will never bash your head with a bat, or a golf club or whatever it is! She will not stick around for the alimony! They are not her style. She will just walk away…Please Jethro, don’t ruin it for you and your family” with that Ducky decides to leave the daft man alone, while he walks back to his beloved baby boy.


“Hi Ducky” Ducky hears Kate’s whisper as he enters the darkened room, only the night table lamp is on; he sees the boy is asleep in his bed, he still has his mother’s hair in his grip as Kate is lying next to him.

“He wanted to wait for you, in his room…not mine” Kate explains, as she loosens the boy’s grip and slips down from the bed.

“Sleep tight Ducky” Kate kisses Ducky’s temple before she exits the room.

Ducky stops her, “Caitlin, how’s my next grandchild doing?”

“I haven’t seen Strebel yet” Kate speaks uncomfortably, she feels like she is putting the old man down; she slowly walks away before Ducky calls her again.

“Caitlin…be patient with our Jethro, it is at times like these that he needs you more than ever” Ducky holds both of her hands, then he hugs the woman he loves like a daughter he never had. It feels so good and comforting that Kate couldn’t help but cry in his arms, after a while she feels better and she smiles sadly and nods at Ducky.

“I have given him all that I can give Ducky, but I guess it is not enough to heal his pain” and Kate returns to her empty room, her husband is still in the basement with his boat. Ducky stares at the empty space where Kate stood just a minute ago, he can only wish that the hard headed man comes to his senses before it is too late.