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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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ALL I HAVE 7 Mischief managed

Chapter 7 Mischief managed

“Boss, I just miss teasing my ex partner” DiNozzo hurriedly explains.

Gibbs disregards his reason and barks his verdict: “You are handing the Cobalt case to McGee!” he points at astounded McGee.

“I want you one hundred percent on Haswari! You have James and Balboa. Kate will ONLY profile! Office bound! Do I make myself clear DiNozzo?” He asks the senior agent.

“Yes Boss” DiNozzo replies.

“I’ll see you in my office, once you are done for the day.” Gibbs walks past him to reaches Kate.

“C’mon Kate” he places his hand on her lower back, guiding her away from the bullpen towards his office. Kate sticks out her tongue at DiNozzo, grabs her crackers and milk from the table, thanks McGee and follows him.


Gibbs expresses his concern to her on their way up: “Kate, I don’t want you exerting yourself…for God’s sakes, you are two months pregnant. One of the reasons I agreed to let you back at the HQ to profile Haswari is because I think you and Robert are safer here.” He admits to her, not caring anymore if she is offended by the reason.

“I know Jethro” Kate whispers as she leans closer to him, “I feel safer when you are around too” she said with a small smile.

“I am going to start profiling…and what about Robert?” she is concerned about the boy wellbeing, its been so long since she last worked, she’s been a full time mother to him.

Gibbs thinks he’ll be all right, “He’ll be fine with me or the guys and he loves it here”

“I am just concerned about his meals and stuff, he is not used to…” she stops talking at they enter his office, located next to MTAC.

Gibbs and Kate freeze as they open the door and witness Robert sitting on Fornell’s lap…eating, eating croissants and drinking milk from a straw, which Kate assumes Fornell got from one of Gibbs’s personal cupboards.

Fornell is patiently feeding the kid, Robert is practically eating from Fornell’s hand as he is busy unclasping the Agent’s gun’s holster, as he repeatedly says, “Bobby love gun” and babbles his own words that Kate is sure the FBI Agent does not understand, the kid is quite slow with his language skills, her niece could speak in full sentence by the time she was two.

Them he sees his parents, “Mommy, Bobby eat”

“Todd, your boy said he is hungry, so I had the croissant and milk delivered” Fornell explains; he asks the kid “Do you like it Robert?”

Robert grins and said “Yes Foni, yummy” he cannot pronounces Fornell.

Oh my God, Kate hears her son call the Agent, Foni: “Robert, his name is not Foni, can you say Fornell?”

But the tot just looks at his mother and Fornell, confused.

“It’s OK Todd, I don’t mind” Fornell speaks up as he makes sure his gun is still safely tucked in the holster.

“Yeah Kate! Fornell is a sissy” Gibbs adds as he strides towards his chair.

Kate kisses her son’s cheeks before she left, “Be good Bobby, I'll see you later”

The boy asks, “Where mommy go? Bobby follow” looking at his mother but his hands are still holding the gun.

“No no Bobby, you stay with daddy and Foni…sorry Fornell, mommy is going to catch a bad guy, OK! Wait for mommy here” she kisses him again. Robert just nods his head, he doesn’t mind being with his dad and Fony, who he’s seen many times in his house and office.


Gibbs is to have a short meeting with the FBI director in a few hours, his secretary reminds him of the appointment. He is just keen on catching Haswari and his ‘cells’; he doesn’t care what he has to do to get them.

“Gibbs, let my men join your team “Fornell proposes

“You got to be kidding! FBI and NCIS do not mix Fornell, you should know that by now!” Gibbs explains

“Gibbs, for the sake of catching the damn terrorist, we have to…”

Gibbs is quiet for quite sometime, looking at the FBI Agent, pondering the consequences, then he says: “My team, my lead…DiNozzo’s call! Not yours!” he counters.

“Deal! You damn bastard” Fornell takes his chances.

And…”DAMN” Robert remembers the word that he has forgotten for quite some time.

Fornell looks at the father of the child…stunned!

“Oh no” Gibbs covers his face in disbelief, the boy has stopped saying ‘damn’ for almost a year, now he remembers the cursed word again, Kate is going to chew his ass.

“Does Todd know he can curse?” Fornell asks.

Gibbs buzzes the Lab for Abby; and the Goth is delighted to have Robert for the evening, and when she finds out that her favorite boy is coming to the HQ every day because Kate is back with them, she plans to bring all her soft toys and stationery to work!

She hugs Gibbs tightly and kisses his cheeks gleefully.

 “Thank you Boss man!!!” she exclaims and, “Bobby too” he wants to be kissed and hugged too!

After saying his good bye to Foni and his dad, he holds Abby’s hand and follows her to the Lab, “tattoo” he comments, Tony taught him to say tattoo.

The usual five minutes trip to the Lab is stretched into fifteen minutes, they are stopped every a couple of steps by other agents and staff, asking question to the little kid; one hour later, the whole building knows that Todd is back and Robert is in the house!


The day passes really quickly, with DiNozzo and his team on the field; Kate is almost alone in her bullpen with Robert sitting on McGee’s chair, the agent downloaded a computer game for the boy, hoping that he will stay put on his desk. Apart from a few administrative staff walking pass the bullpen, only the two of them occupied the bullpen.

McGee left the HQ to meet with Lt. Cobalt; he was stunned when Gibbs dumped the case to him, it is true that the case is not high profile BUT he is solely responsible for it. McGee was so nervous with the challenge that he tripped in front of the elevator, but quickly regained his composure before anybody saw him.

Kate is staying put on her desk, she took her son from Abby because the lab technician is swamped with the Mossad case.

So, Kate stays in front of the computer screen, searching for Haswari’s ‘top secret’ file, just given access from the FBI; hell, they should have given the file to NCIS years ago; Kate is angry with bureaucracy and segregation.

One hour later, Robert is already bored with the computer game, his mother is on the phone with the immigration and she’s been staring at the computer screen for such a long time, Robert peeks at his mother.

“Mommy, Bobby want to play” he says from behind the monitor as he is turning around on the swiveling chair.

“Wait Robert” Kate says to him, still busy on the phone, she’s been put on hold dozens of times, she is not going to hang up because the boy wants to play.

Knowing that his mother is ignoring him, he slips down his chair and walks up to her. His is already as tall as the table. He stands on his toes in front of the table, peeking in between the screen and PC, before he makes a turn and reaches Kate’s legs, tugging his mother, wanting to play or get out from the bullpen.

“Wait Bobby” Kate hastily asks the boy to stop tugging her while she is on the phone.

The kid fidgets for a while and decided otherwise, he climbs up to his mom’s lap and Kate hoists him with her free hand, Robert wonders what kind of game his mommy is hooked on, playing with it for such a long time, then he sees Haswari’s face on the fifteen inches screen.

“Who, mommy?” he points at the man on the screen.

“He is the bad guy your dad and everybody are trying to catch” she explains to Robert, as she presses the enter button on the keyboard, somehow she is not comfortable with Robert looking at Haswari’s face.

Kate’s mobile rings:

“Todd” she is frustrated and hangs up on the immigration and answers the call without looking at the ID caller. She leans backwards as her son tries to snatch her mobile.

“Katie, it's Luke” It’s her ex.

“Oh hi Luke…Robert! Stop please!” Kate is trying to listen to the call while her son wants to talk to whoever his mother is talking to. The lieutenant can hear the boy’s voice, but he is not in a good mood; an hour ago, he was surprised to found McGee in front of his door step, instead of Special Agent DiNozzo and his ex-girlfriend, as the Special Agent said that she’ll help him with the case.

“Kate, do you know anything about my case being transferred to another agent?” He asks her.

“Yes, Special Agent McGee is handling your case. Is he not there yet? He left hours ago” Kate starts to wonder whether Tony gave the correct address and file to McGee.

“Yes, he is here. Aren’t you going to help DiNozzo with my case?” he sounds really displeased.

“Luke, there is a change of plan” she is glad Tony didn’t mess up the paperwork and information to McGee.

“DiNozzo is with the Mo…” then she realized that it is confidential and it is NONE of his business, it is NCIS's right to assign any agents as they see fit or competent, and McGee is more than competent!

“Look…is there a problem with Special Agent McGee???” Kate is getting impatient with Luke’s pettiness, he came for help and the department is willing to help, but he is being really demanding now, then she sees her boy pulling her drawer open, rummaging through her stuff and finding her gun and he takes it out.

“Robert Jethro Gibbs!!! Don’t touch it. I said NO!” Kate snaps at Robert.

The boy pulls a long face, not happy with being shouted at, pouts and stays really still, looking down at the floor.

“Luke, I am sure McGee is more than capable to help you with your problem” she continues.

“Yeah, I am sure Kate…I thought you cared” and the man hangs up on her.

Kate looks at her mobile in disbelief, hangs up and turns her attention to her son who is sulking on her lap.

“Robert! Mommy is really busy, mommy is working to catch the bad guy, to help Tony, Balboa, and daddy to catch the bad guy, do you understand Robert?”

The two year old just nods…once.

“I know you are bored, but Abby and Ducky are very busy too; your dad is not in the office! Everybody else is working, can you please behave and be a good boy?” Kate tries to make him understand.

Robert is still not looking at his mother who just shouted at him, he nods again and Kate sees a single tear streaks down his cheek. Oh dear God, the kid has been spoiled by the entire department, his sitters and his dad; she just snaps at him once and he is crying, then she hears him.

“Sorry mommy” and with his tubby arm, he brusquely wipes his tears…then Kate feels really guilty for snapping at him, he is only two.

“I am sorry I shouted at you. Look! Tomorrow, we’ll bring your toys, OK Bobby?”

“OK mommy” he nods again, blinking his teary eyes, and add, “and gun”

“Of course, you may bring your gun! Now wait here…Mommy is going to buy Gummy Bears for Bobby, don’t go anywhere, OK” Kate locks her drawers, placed the boy on her chair and left him as she goes to the vending machine.

So, the kid waits on the chair like he is told! He looks out the huge window on the side, he sees the sky…it is light orange, soon it will turn to dark orange, then it is going to be dark soon.

Suddenly, the phone on Kate’s desk rings.

The little boy looks at the ringing phone, he looks right and left, sees nobody is around to answer the phone; then he decides to answers it, he used to do it at home and his parents never scold him for picking up the phone.

He straightens himself from the seat, he tries to reach for the phone but he can’t, he is way too short to reach it; so Robert Gibbs stands on the chair and answers the phone:



“Daddyyyyy” ecstatic, hearing his dad’s voice on the phone.

“Are you alone there, boy? Where’s your mom?”

“Mommy buy Bobby Gummy Bear” he answers

Gibbs is in the FBI HQ with Fornell and his director; he received several files and autopsy reports on previous agents that had been assassinated by Haswari, along with the bastard’s last assignment; he is going to forward them to Kate to profile.

He decides to call his wife, instead, his boy picked up his call and his wife is away buying the boy candy? Very strange and unlikely, he imagines.

But Robert explains: “Bobby bad boy…mommy angry, Bobby cry” he said dejectedly to his dad.

Oh, so his wife feels guilty for scolding Robert and she is buying him candy because of guilt, Gibbs smiles and scratches his head absentmindedly. “OK OK, now be good and stay where you are, all right son?” he orders the boy

“Daddy come home…please” he begs sadly.

Without realizing it, he leans against the table, his feet pushes the chair; the chair rolls backward and Robert slips from the chair, knocks his head against the table and falls. The boy bawls at the top of his lungs like there is no tomorrow. The phone set crashes on top of his body, making him cry even louder.

Gibbs hears the crash and the deafening cries through his mobile, “Robert! Robert!” he shouts his name, too late, the kid must have fallen from the chair.

He hangs up and calls Kate’s mobile…no answer, she must have left it on her table or purse. He starts cursing under his breath.

Then, he calls his ME’s mobile, calling through the operators takes too much time:

“Dr. Mallard” Ducky answers the call

“Ducky!!! Robert has fallen, he is in the bullpen, at Kate’s table! “

Ducky understands his friend’s incomplete sentence, “Be right there, Jethro” he hangs up and hastily strides to the bullpen, with his bloody scrubs on, if not for Palmer’s reminder, he would have gone up with the scrubs like that.

Kate hears his cries while she is still in the elevator, “Oh no…” she whispers in trepidation, pressing the open button on the elevator repeatedly.

She runs towards her desk, “OH…Robert” as she sees her boy sprawled on the floor, with the heavy phone set on top of his body. She assesses the injury and quickly carries him to the head, where the first aid kit is.

Minutes later, Ducky arrives in the bullpen, breathless.

He can see the messes by Kate’s desk, the evidence of a recent fall are all over the area: Phone set on the floor, chair pushed back against the partition, BUT no Robert!

His mobile doesn’t stop ringing, he sees the caller ID: it is the boy’s father; he ignores the annoying rings and searches for the boy, there must be some explanation; after five minutes Ducky is sweating bullets, nervous, his hands shake as he calls from the nearest intercom to the security base, to seal all exits at the HQ; when they ask the reason, Ducky manages to say:  “We lost the boy” and no further question is asked, they lost the Director’s two year old in the midst of a Mossad disappearance.

Within two minutes, they program for all the exits to be sealed and start sweeping the floors and staircases. 

Ducky answers the inevitable calls, “Jethro, I can’t find Robert! But don’t worry, the security has sealed all the exits”

“What do you mean, you can’t find him??? He was there barely minutes ago, I spoke to him! He picked up the phone! Where’s Kate?” Gibbs is shouting in the middle of FBI’s hall.

“I am coming back…” he decides.

“No Jethro! It's no use! We’ve sealed the entire building. No one can get in or out, so don’t…” and Ducky hears the voice he’s been desperately searching for.

“Ducky” Robert sobs his name as he exits the head in his mom’s arms

“Robert…” the ME hangs up his mobile

“Ducky” the little boy calls piteously

“Caitlin! What happened?” as he picks his grandson from his mother.

“He must have stood on the chair and slipped, he is all right Ducky” Kate calms the sweating nervous man. Robert starts sobbing…again, as he is in Ducky’s arms.

Minutes after Ducky found the ‘lost boy’, two of the security personnel enter the bullpen in a hurry, the head of security had ordered a search for the little man, they’ve searched the entire floor…with no result, while being in touch with the Control room, knowing that their colleagues have no result as well.

“We couldn’t find Robert, we’ve searched the entire floor and the other guys are searching the entire…Hey!!! Robert! Ducky, you found the boy!” One of them exclaims with sighs of relief, while the others contact the Control room, informing their base that the boy is found! And to give the green light to reopen the building ASAP.

Kate is confused with the racket, “he’s been with me the whole time…in the head” she looks at Ducky

“It’s my fault Caitlin, I am sorry! Jethro called, he said that Robert is hurt in the bullpen, I couldn’t find him, I panicked, I couldn’t take the chance, so I asked them to seal the building!” He breathlessly explains to Kate, with Robert already in his arms, looking miserable.

“Oh no!!!” Kate whispers in distress, what have they done?

“But…how did Jethro know?” she is still baffled   

“He called your desk, and Robert picked up the phone” Ducky is so pleased that Robert is not missing, he doesn’t care about the false alarm.

They are now in front of Kate’s desk; she is about to pick up her son from the ME to place him on the table but he refused, grasping Ducky’s shirt, “Bobby hurt” he moans to Ducky who is still fussing at him.

Then, they are surprised with the sudden arrival of Abby from the stairs.

Abby arrives at the bullpen breathless…barefooted!

“Robert! You found Robert! Thank God” she shouts, still trying to catch her breath.

“Bobby hurt” he said to one of his sitters with drawings on her body.

“OH BOBBY! Your head” Abby lightly touches his forehead and picks him up from Ducky.

Kate has been looking at Abby’s feet for quite sometime, “Abby! Where’s your shoes?” Kate stares at her feet in awe.

“OHHH, those damn clogs! I couldn’t run fast with them, and they kill my toes when I use the stairs…so I took them off!” she cuddles the boy while kissing the boy’s new bump softly, as Robert places his head on her shoulder.

About ten minutes later:

Tony and James arrive in the bullpen, they seem anxious.

What happened? We were waiting at the entrance for fifteen minutes…You lost Robert? How…” Tony said as he and James enter the bullpen.

“Bobby hurt” he sadly explains to the new arrival; Kate thinks her son sounds like a broken record, but somehow she is angry with herself, blaming herself for his fall.

“Oh you found the naughty boy! OH my…Robert, your head! You have a new bump!!!” Tony laughs, about to take him from Abby, when:

The ‘ding’ sound of elevator brings Gibbs into the bullpen. They can see that the man is distraught. “Did you find him??? Is he OK?” he shouts at he charges into the bullpen, even before he sees the small crowd.

“Daddyyyy” He shouts for his dad, as Gibbs strides to him.

“Bobby hurt” he explains to his dad as he picks him up from between Abby and DiNozzo. Then the kid starts sobbing again in his dad's embrace.

Kate rolls her eyes in annoyance and embarrassment for the racket that they caused, just half a day after she started working at the HQ, her son has caused so much trouble that it disrupts the entire building.

“Daddy go home” The kid murmurs to his dad, circling his arms around Gibbs’ neck, lying his head on his shoulder.


They decide to call it a day to take their son home; it is almost six by the time they leave HQ.

The second they enter their house; Robert slips down from his dad and dashes towards his room, the two year old can not be contained, Kate is pissed off.

“You all right Kate?” Gibbs asks her while shedding his coat - it was the wrong question.

“OH yeah…wonderful Jethro! Wonderful!” she strides to the kitchen, then walks back towards the living room where he is still looking at the mail.

“…the WHOLE building is sealed because of YOUR son! The second I left him, he got into mischief! Do you know what he did in Abby’s lab?” Kate talks non stop - just like Ducky, but pissed off.

“He jumped on Abby’s old Futon! He jumped and he jumped and he jumped! And it broke!” Kate continues.

“Kate” Gibbs tries to calm her down.

“…I am not done talking” Kate continues, “I said 'no jumping,' he said 'jump jump jump,' Kate shakes her head, “after I threatened to smack him, he stopped, but it was too late, the futon had already broken” Kate breathes deeply.

“Then he was quiet, Abby gave him drawing papers and a water color set…you know, to keep him quiet…” All this time, her husband is just standing in front at her...looking at her.

“Kate…” He tries again, but fails miserably.

“Wait! You got to hear this! He stayed quiet for ten minutes or so, then he decided that he needed more water…and he poured Abby’s Caff-Pow onto his color palette!!!”

Kate is unstoppable, “And with me, he banged his head to the desk!”

“Kate…Kate, calm down…he is only two, what do you expect from him, he was bored” Gibbs tries to calm his wife down, he is afraid she would go up to Robert’s room and smack him, her face is flushed!

Then, they hear the unmistakable voice of their son: “Mommy…where’s Bobby’s Gummy?” he peeks from the rail, at the second floor, asking for his promised candy innocently.

Kate’s mouth’s gapes open, looking at their son from the second floor; apparently, his new bump doesn’t dampen his spirit. Kate laughs in defeat and throws herself in Gibbs’s arms.

“After dinner son” Gibbs replies.

“Now?” he tries his luck

Gibbs just manages to shake his head, signaling him NO, while trying to put on a straight face and refraining from laughing.

He rubs Kate’s back brusquely.

 “Kate, I have to go to the FBI” he murmurs, she just nods, still hiding her face on his shirt. Then she looks up to him and says, “Call me if you need help”

Gibbs grabs his coat. Robert is looking at his dad, thinking: why is he putting on his coat again?

Robert, I have to go back to work, be a good boy and wait for me at home, all right?” as he walks closer, looking at the top of the stairs where his son is standing.

“Where daddy go? The sun is sleeping daddy, don’t go” he means to say it's already late and dark outside. Abby once told him that when it is dark, the sun has gone to bed and so must he.

Daddy has to go Robert, it's a very important meeting, do you understand?” He explains

“No” Robert is about to climb down the stairs to stop his dad from going away. Gibbs walks up to him and whispers to the kid who is obviously not pleased.

A few minutes later, Kate sees her son send his dad to the door, kissing him goodbye and waving. No tantrum or crying.

Kate wonders what her husband said to the kid. “What did daddy say Bobby?” she asks curiously.

“Secret mommy, daddy said ‘man talk’” and he tugs Kate’s hand towards the kitchen for his dinner, so that he can have his Gummy as soon as possible.

For the first time, Kate wishes that her second child is a girl!


-Tbc-nova2007-Beta (MV)