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Me, Myself and CRAZY !!!

~~~ love me tender & lick me to death ~~~ confession of a desperate housewife

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Advice from the wise

12 advices for the singles and couples who are about to be married


1. Don’t marry “stranger” to your heart.

Don’t marry anybody who you do not know for at least a year.

If you are unsure about your partner…WAIT, and wait for another year.

There’s an old saying “…Marry fast, regrets a long time…”

“Falling in love” can be the pedestal for marriage, but “falling in love” or “being in love” should survive at least for a year.

“Love at the first sight” can be TRUE LOVE, but you should look at your partner face with the same love and intensity for at least a year…trying to meet as often as possible. It is about getting to know your future spouse.

The point is:

Within a year, you should still LOVE being with your lover before you two decide to ties the knot.


2. Pay attention to “nature” and “nurture”.

Pay attention to your lover’s family.

Sometimes… good, decent, happy people may come from a bad family or environment….anything is possible…this is not about closing your mind or limiting yourself, it is about being smart about your choice.

BUT, it is foolish to disregard the fact that people’s basic characters are mostly shaped by early emotional factors from within (nature) and their environment/surrounding (nurture).

Apart from that, after you are married…you WILL NOT only get your spouse but also another set of family…and there are times, you have to live with them under the same roof.

You should BE AWARE, if there is any problem or difference between you and your future parents in law and their family.

You should BE AWARE, whether your mother in law is a dominant woman or not.

You should BE AWARE, whether your father in law is a chauvinist man or not.

So, you should know whether or not your future spouse has “freed” itself from the parents’ influence.

Whatever the answer is…you should acknowledge and able to live with it…if you choose to do so.


3. Marriage does not change people.

Don’t ever marry someone, hoping that marriage will CHANGE their characters and behaviors.

Marriage certificate CAN NOT changes a person who was irresponsible to become a responsible individual.

Lazy person will NEVER be hardworking, because he/she is married.

Lots of UNFORTUNATE couples are created because they thought their lover will CHANGE for the better, after they said…”I do”

Marriage requires great adjustment from both sides in various aspects of our life. So marriage itself creates new set of challenges and problem…So, Marriage DO NOT FIX problems.

Marriage CAN NOT makes gamblers quit their addiction.

NONE of yours and your lover’s characters will change by being married.

A person’s whole life of experiences and characters CAN NOT be changed after a few minutes of ceremony.


4. Marriage does not save soul

Do not marry someone with the intention of saving their souls from damnation.

Husband and wife may and should…help each other in overcoming life’s obstacles and influence each other for the better.

But the plan or intention to salvage one’s life, so the person can starts an entirely new life…is false expectation and it should never be the reason of getting married.

This intention is dangerous and emotionally unhealthy.

Please remember…Human being is creature of habits…so you can imagine, what might happen with your expectation.


5. Do not be “sorry”

DO NOT EVER marry a person because you feel sorry for her/him.

“…I don’t love him but he needs me, and I can not stand to see him suffer…”

Such “pity” or “feeling sorry”, within times…will evolve to frustration…and frustration often ended up as hatred.

Marriage should be based from rational respect and logic thinking…NOT from PITY, which may changed into mockery and humiliation for the other entity.


6. It is not an escape

DO NOT EVER marry for the sake of avoiding certain situation.

There are times, a daughter or son is not happy in her/his parents’ house; so they used marriage as a method to escape from their family or current situation.

There are more than enough teenagers who can not stand their domineering mothers, look at marriage to escape plan.

There are also bachelors who choose marriage with which ever girls that sticks to them, so they can finally have FREEDOM in their own house.

Such escape plans rarely succeed in maintaining their marriage.


7. Sex is not equal love

DO NOT believe “hearsay” that sex in marriage can promote love and care, IF they NEVER EXIST before the wedding.

Certain mothers force their daughters to marry some chosen guy, while convincing their daughters “…he has high position in his work…he comes from a reputable family, after you married him and live as husband and wife…you will love him too…actually I did not love your father…before I married him…”

Only the end parts of the sentence might be right…the rest is a sly dishonest lies that can bring disaster and doom in a marriage.

Having sex needs the feeling of love, care and adoration.

SEX, could NEVER creates such beautiful, honest feeling.


8. Listen to your heart

DO NOT let yourself be influenced to marry against your own gut feeling, against your own wish, against your personal opinion.

There are lots of “pimp” and “nosy relatives” who believe that they are heroes if they managed to convince someone to get married.

They hold the twisted principle that “not married or staying single” is a curse, a disaster…and “being married” is a must in order to attain happiness and be acceptable in society.


9. Don’t marry money

DO NOT marry for MONEY!

Even though, marriage would be based on strong economic ground and it is wise to think and plan about the financial aspect of a family.

There is an old saying, “…human being can not life from JUST love…”, BUT the old saying is NOT complete!!! It needs to be combine with, “…marriage can not survive with JUST money!...”


10. Last minute warning!

If ever, on the days before your wedding, you feel that you’ve make a mistake, that you’ve make a wrong decision…


Lots of couple could avoid disastrous horrible marriage, if ever they could IGNORE their parents’ words, “…oh…my GOD…my child…all invitations had been sent…it is too late to back out…”


Those statements are false!!!

Backing out is permitted until the last second…until the both of you said……...

“I DO”


11. Don’t marry status and tick box.

DO NOT get married, just to be acknowledged that you are married!!!

Lots of doomed marriages are started from…” three of my friends are already married…all of my best friends have husbands…”

Marriage should not happen, just because you WANT TO BE MARRIED!!!...with ANYBODY!!!

If you do not love the person you are marrying…you will not be happy…looking at his/her face…so having sex would not be able to grow your love…if you do not love your spouse before marriage.

At the end…the sex…sucks!


12. Someone that makes me HAPPY!!!

PLEASE…MARRY someone who makes you happier...

Marry someone who you love hanging out with…

Marry someone who you love to touch and stay close…with each other…

Marry someone who you love to talk to and listen…to each other…

Marry someone who can accept and love you the just the way you are…no more, no less…because nobody is perfect.

Marry someone who can share your dreams and hope…sharing your vision together…

Marry someone who understands your fear…and pet peeves…

Marry someone who can share…his/her life with you…

Marry someone who respects you and the people you loved…

Marry someone who knows the difference, between right and wrong…

Marry someone loyal to his/her self; because they will be most likely be loyal to you…



Marry the one you can not live without…


Nova’s babbles

I am an old fashion person, despite of my rebellious nature;

To me marriage is sacred and holy…

Marriage is supposed to last…till death do us part…

Marriage is supposed to be a journey together…in hand

Think hard, think twice, and think it over and over…

Before you tie the knot…

Hoping that it would last till… death do us part…


Parts of this article are translated from Polish by SL; sourced from the internet

All parts of this article are translated to English by NS

Some parts of this article are added by NJS…

With the hope to help people make one of the most important decision in their live.

No part of the article meant to mock or disregard any individuals, cultures or religions. This article is posted…hoping that it could HELP someone…

Then, it would be worth it and served it purpose…

Apologies to any individual or group who are offended by the post…No pun intended.

The article is not to disrespect married couples; this article is to help the ones who are not that lucky…YET…

Adios…life is short and life’s a bitch…please enjoy while you can.